The Snerk Report

My wife is the Queen of the Ocean. She has been scuba diving since she was in high school. She knows most of the underwater creatures by genus and species name, and she knows which ones are "can eat" and which ones are "no can eat" (important if you are spearfishing). She used to send dive reports via email to whomever she dove with, recounting the day's adventure from her unique perspective. Gradually people requested to receive her dive reports even if they weren't on the dive because the reports were so entertaining to read, but only those that have been diving with her were allowed to get them. When I finally met her and got to dive with her I became eligible to receive these dive reports. I enjoyed them so much I asked her if she had more, so she sent me all of them.

Here they are.